Tearing at the Fabric

Of the space-time continuum



A brief diversion from “the story.”  Or post apocalypse.  

The very worst thing about cheating, fucking around and completely shattered – and I mean SHATTERED – hearts, especially if it is someone you actually had a real, fantastic bond with, is that you have totally bought into the whole idea that one day you and your love will be that old couple, you know, the ones that you see, the wrinkly old ones that walk hand and hand down the beach in ill-fitting swimming costumes, but you can see the love.  The adoration.  The total comfort.  The love story.  Those cute oldies that tell their great-grandchildren funny, cute and REAL stories about their partner, sometimes ribbing him, and winking at the littlies about “how silly was great-granddad, what a goose he was, but you gotta love him, huh?”  That used to be us, that was where we were heading. We were THAT couple.  The couple our friends admired, and we were (seriously) often asked what our secret was.  I was robbed of that.  They stole that from me.  I know that it sounds lame, and has no meaning for those that haven’t been anywhere near where I have been these past few years.  But that is the grief I suffer.

Normal whiny transmission will resume soon


7 thoughts on “Diversion

  1. We were that couple, too. All around us, our friends and family were getting divorced or dealing with addiction. We were the ones that still held hands, kissed in public and showed deep affection for each other.

    What my future looked like in my mind: a lake house. A porch on that lake house that has a view. My morning coffee, sitting on that porch. And, my husband there, holding my hand enjoying our coffee.

    I think it will be. I really do. If not, I’ll put an add for a replacement husband 😉

    • Yeah, but tempted, I needed the pure. The long. I needed to he able to look back on 50-60, even 70 years with no fucking around. I only got 20. Don’t even know why I needed that so much. Must be unfinished family business? It’s why I could never cheat. It’s why I chose not to cheat whrn I had the opportunity to once, many decades ago. Hard to explain.

      I have zero desire for a replacement. Cat lady here I come – except I might change it up a bit and be crazy goat lady or some such ;-). Never doing this shit again. I like me far too much! But I’m more than happy to help anyone draft the ad!

  2. I hear ya! That was supposed to be our story too 😦

    I live in the hope that maybe some of those cute old couples have been thro this very thing and have somehow managed to come out the other side. I have to believe that, otherwise I’m not sure I’d even be trying to give this marriage another shot!

    • I’m convinced some of those oldies have suffered, PW. Maybe even this agony. But that seems to cancel out my picture! Mine needed perfection. Who knew I was such a perfectionist??? Fuck the vandals.

  3. ” I was robbed of that. They stole that from me.” I think that’s one of the most honest statements I’ve read in a long time….and I think that’s what makes this crap so hard to overcome…that they would throw away 20, 30, 40 years of GOOD, without even thinking about how much it would hurt and devastate us.
    I know that this has been so painful for me to overcome, because of that reason.
    Great quote Paula!

  4. I had bought the rocking chairs for our wrap around porch, we were going to sit in them and watch the grandkids fish…

  5. Yeah, that’s how I felt too. We are building a beach house and hope to sit out on the deck and be that old couple, but our story is tarnished. It felt so hypocritical celebrating our 25th this year… when someone has cheated, it seems wrong to celebrate anything.

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