Tearing at the Fabric

Of the space-time continuum




Despite all that has happened in the past six years, we make kindness a priority. One of the things that attracted me to Roger in the first place, and kept me hooked for the past twenty-six years was his inherent kindness. He is kind as a default setting. When an animal is in distress, although we are “hard” farmers, he still gets very upset if he has to put one down, or sees it suffering. This doesn’t mean he breaks down, or even sheds tears, it just means he absolutely hates witnessing the distress, and will do everything in his power to help. I identified that this was how he was with regards to Leanne. He felt sorry for her, and wanted to help her. Sadly, that meant he hurt us. But, of course, he was never going to get caught, so I would never be hurt. He never wanted to leave me, and he tried to worm his way out of the affair without me ever finding out. He never told me about it, because he knew it would break my heart……too late, he had already set the whole machine in motion for that when he first slept with her. However, back to the NOW. We are very kind to one another, we like each other, and we do still have the odd laugh, usually over something perverse. Kindness is important, and we practice it daily.


4 thoughts on “Kindness

  1. Kindness is really important. In fact, it’s one of the first lessons we teach our children, to be kind. Keep up with the kindness 🙂

  2. Same here, Paula. We are kind and considerate, and always looking out for one another. In our martial arts school, people often remark about how cute we are. He carries my swords and other implements, and we bring each other water during breaks, and we laugh and talk about class. This is how we are in private, too.

    Today we heard on NPR about a couple who teaches marriage classes. At one point in their marriage, she had left him because he was violent and abusive. Now they teach others how to overcome all obstacles. Daniel turned to me and said, “Maybe we should teach couples about relationships when we retire.” Really? I was speechless. I just raised my eyebrows in surprise and returned to my paperwork.

    Still thinking about what to make of that… and I’m not going to bring it up until I have some ideas.

  3. Wow! DJ. That is…….I don’t know……almost comical. I guess I am too cynical. I suppose I should be more supportive and say he obviously feels you have come a long way. Amazing really. These ex-cheaters seem to heal so much faster and more completely than those they stabbed. What a surprise! But I really do hope it is a good sign for you xxx.

    • I couldn’t agree more on the comedy that cheaters heal so quickly. I think there has to be a huge dose of denial though. Paul thinks we are great now, well, really good. He said it spontaneously yesterday. Like he didn’t get my issues about the day before at all. He’s happy. Grateful. Delighted. And more grateful. Not that don’t think he should be grateful.

      It’s really hilarious when people think my blog title and comments mean I’m a mean person who punishes my husband. Really funny. They have no idea how kind and considerate we are. They have no clue how we get along well and live well together. Nah it all has to be misery because I don’t approve of cheating and I say so. Go figure.p

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