Tearing at the Fabric

Of the space-time continuum

Read that, same ending as the first time.




Yep. Tell it to TOIL. He had a bitch 27 years ago who cheated on him (with at least four guys, while telling people that they were about to be engaged – which was never on his agenda – and discussing with his horrified sister that she was planning on tearing down his parents’ home and building a new one on his parents’ – not even his at that stage – farm) and whom he eventually sacked. He insisted he never loved her. He insisted he was pleased when he met me as he realised what real love looked like and felt like. He still insists there was no unfinished business. She was a bitch then, she is a bitch now. 

When I think about her doing that, and him staying with her, I realise he “had issues.” I mean why would you put up with a 20 year old who was already cheating on you, and stay in the relationship for another (off and on) six months. That red flag never waved for me back then. I thought it meant he was forgiving!


Old book


3 thoughts on “Read that, same ending as the first time.

  1. Great reminder. It’s been playing on my mind, that time back in 2001 when I had Paul and John both wanting me. John that I had moved on from but was (still is) probably the most close to me emotionally best mate for 6 years prior. Paul who was passionate and capable and a knight in shining armour. It’s tempting to wonder if I should have made another choice. It’s tempting to wonder if John is someone I might one day go back to. He stayed single you see, waiting for me. Yeah, for 13 years. How romantic. But, no. I moved on from him because he was emotionally unable to have a relationship. Perpetually non-committal. Never could be all-in. Had an appallingly low sex drive that made me feel inadequate. I have to remind myself there were reasons I left him. There were reasons I didn’t accept a marriage proposal when the alternative was a chancy long distance year with Paul. Never go back. People don’t change.

    • Well spotted, Neph. I also thought about the only other man I ever loved. I heard through mutual friends he had divorced around the same time as my hell was being unleashed. Was tempted as hell to get in touch. But he HAS changed. He has lost his sense of fun. Got involved in some kind of fundamentalist religion. He left that when he left his wife, but humour has not returned, or so I’ve been told. We would not work. Too far apart now. But he was exceptionally hot! We used to be so in love, close and had a heap of fun!

      Low libido would be a killer for (old) me.

      I realised after hitting post that Leanne had planned a wedding back then, and one this time around. HAD EVEN BOUGHT A DRESS! We found this out via an aunt. Scary bitch. Rog was horrified but nothing really surprises us.

  2. Leanne is a bunny boiler to be sure….makes me smile a bit because she didn’t get her “happily ever after”….she’ll die a lonely, old woman…that no one cares about! GOOD!!!

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