Tearing at the Fabric

Of the space-time continuum



Yesterday I found a couple of really bizarre messages on Facebook.

They were those ones that someone who isn’t your friend leaves, so they doesn’t show up on your message feed. But I found them when reading another one. Someone left me two messages. They were sent in July this year and then in September. It was obviously someone who had made up a fake page. No photos, fully private.

It was about a woman I know. She was married to TOIL’s best mate. She cheated, with her best-friend-and-business-partner’s husband. And she left her husband, two little kids in tow, to be with her friend’s husband (he also had two little kids, the same age.)

It wasn’t the first time she cheated. But we didn’t know that at the time. I considered her a friend. But when she did this, I told her I was terribly disappointed, and I could not longer be her friend. (Just not quite so politely as I have here!)

They moved away.

Years later, they moved back to the area. Thirteen years after they tore their first families apart, he told her to leave. She did, and there was another woman involved, I am still not sure if there was sexual cheating, she says not, but who cares, it’s all pretty horrid.

We got back in touch. Not much. She was sad, thought he was her “soulmate,” (cough!) but seemed to be getting on with her life. She recently finished an undergrad degree and is doing her Masters now. She has a new man, and has moved to his country. When she lived here, she lived in a nearby city, and we talked. She always got on really well with TOIL, and she seemed genuinely sorry (despite her own past) that we had this happen to us, or rather, that he chose this for us. But that was about it, I never got close to her again, I couldn’t, I knew her character too well. But we chatted, and became friends on Facebook. I even went to a couple of arthouse movies with her, and TOIL, her, me and another friend who lives over their way went to a concert together earlier this year.

The weird message was all about her, about trying to disparage her character. Seriously! It’s been sixteen years since TOIL’s best mate and this woman, P, divorced. He remarried, to someone who he was probably already starting an inappropriate relationship with for a married man (he suspected P was having an affair, and he was spending time with his current wife, who happens to be his brother’s ex – I know, sick world I live in!) and has two more children, everyone “moved on.” I have two thoughts about who sent the messages, and it doesn’t matter, because I am ignoring them. But, really? All this time later? And I know who P is, she showed us all who she is when she cheated, and didn’t care that she broke her best friend’s heart. Her only worry was that if he cheated with her, he could cheat on her – hahahaha! Aren’t they classics, these cheaters??? She has a bizarre sense of what is okay to do – a lack of moral fibre, character, whatever you would like to describe it as. Yes, I did see her from time to time, over a decade after her most public poor behaviour. I have my reasons, mostly that I saw no one, and it was good to escape my small town and go see a good movie with an intelligent woman who knew my feelings about her poor morals. Maybe I was wrong. But I am comfortable with it. No one here cared enough about me to keep me company. If we put her shit to one side, I got to escape for a few hours once or twice a year. There were no lies, and no one was getting hurt.

I mean, how old are we? For someone to leave me secret, anonymous messages, like some twelvie. Grow the fuck up.

The world has gone mad.


4 thoughts on “Bizarreness

  1. Is it just me but I’m dying to know who the anonymous person was? I mean what’s to gain? I’ve thought about contacting 2 specific friends of Argyrodes through FB just because it is less confronting than turning up on their doorstep and I don’t have their phone no. But I never did because I found better ways to sit her on her arse (copying her husband on my replies was the big one). It was only ever going to be about getting her to leave us alone. Without that there’s no point. I mean in terms of exposure I’d rather tell people face to face not anonymously.

    Makes no sense. Curious though. Maybe they think it’s obvious who they are?

    • I don’t think they think it is obvious, Neph. There was a comment left that the message bearer was using a friend’s FB page to comment. I think it most likely to be one of two people: R (the AP who kicked P out eventually) has a new woman – the one he was already involved with when he asked P to move out, and she hates P. It could well be her ( she is a complete nutter, three marriages and four kids down before 40.) Or it is L, who is P’s “successor” – currently married to TOIL’s old bestie. She has some history with this kind of thing. The person who wrote it knew a lot of details, and implicated my old best mate as being knowing of P doing some inappropriate stuff, “ask J about xyz,” when she was with R.

      Gawd, it’s all so Jeremy Kyle. Yuck! I hate this shit, so seedy and low class. I genuinely have got to a place where this doesn’t burn me up like it once would have. I would have been like you, Neph, desperately needing to know. But it is just pathetic, and serves absolutely no purpose, I mean all of these people have new lives, and this is years, and even decades in the past in some cases. I just don’t buy any of this crap anymore, if I ever did.

      I know what you mean about wanting to confront people. Leanne’s nanny did a lot of stuff with us, and she used to be so nice to me, always complimenting me and we chatted about life. I thought she liked me, then after Dday, I thought she must have pitied me (she knew all about the affair) but turns out she is just a using cow, greases up to people who can do her favours, we got her into restricted areas on big race days, bought her concert tickets, she used our lake house, that kind of using little girl. At first I wanted to go and talk to her, find out why she didn’t tell me, what she thought, really. She told me to call her anytime. I did once, and quickly realised she was a fake. Leanne had told her that Rog was in love with her, and was going to marry her (he totally denies this, and seems genuinely mortified, horrified this was discussed, he NEVER talked permanence, nor love, he pointed out to Leanne that he didn’t love her, that she was just a distraction for him in a very confusing time in his life) and that I was a horrible partner, who was only with him for the lifestyle. Stef, the nanny, believed what Leanne, her boss, told her. I must have been a witch, why else would he be cheating? That was when I realised for the first time that my reasonable, wanting to talk it all out with everyone approach was madness, I was dealing with seriously disordered people.

      • Yeah, this long after and to *you*? Can’t see the point. I agree it’s very childish and good call it’s probably another cheater 🙂

        It’s also true that when you tell people about the affair you find out more about them than you could in 20 normal years. Great bloody litmus test on Alisha for a start.

        Well you can’t say you don’t have dram queens in your life eh Paula? At least we have something to shake our heads at that isn’t just how silly our husbands were.

  2. Good grief! These people never stop, do they? And why drag you into it Paula?? Weird!!

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