Yesterday I found a couple of really bizarre messages on Facebook.
They were those ones that someone who isn’t your friend leaves, so they doesn’t show up on your message feed. But I found them when reading another one. Someone left me two messages. They were sent in July this year and then in September. It was obviously someone who had made up a fake page. No photos, fully private.
It was about a woman I know. She was married to TOIL’s best mate. She cheated, with her best-friend-and-business-partner’s husband. And she left her husband, two little kids in tow, to be with her friend’s husband (he also had two little kids, the same age.)
It wasn’t the first time she cheated. But we didn’t know that at the time. I considered her a friend. But when she did this, I told her I was terribly disappointed, and I could not longer be her friend. (Just not quite so politely as I have here!)
They moved away.
Years later, they moved back to the area. Thirteen years after they tore their first families apart, he told her to leave. She did, and there was another woman involved, I am still not sure if there was sexual cheating, she says not, but who cares, it’s all pretty horrid.
We got back in touch. Not much. She was sad, thought he was her “soulmate,” (cough!) but seemed to be getting on with her life. She recently finished an undergrad degree and is doing her Masters now. She has a new man, and has moved to his country. When she lived here, she lived in a nearby city, and we talked. She always got on really well with TOIL, and she seemed genuinely sorry (despite her own past) that we had this happen to us, or rather, that he chose this for us. But that was about it, I never got close to her again, I couldn’t, I knew her character too well. But we chatted, and became friends on Facebook. I even went to a couple of arthouse movies with her, and TOIL, her, me and another friend who lives over their way went to a concert together earlier this year.
The weird message was all about her, about trying to disparage her character. Seriously! It’s been sixteen years since TOIL’s best mate and this woman, P, divorced. He remarried, to someone who he was probably already starting an inappropriate relationship with for a married man (he suspected P was having an affair, and he was spending time with his current wife, who happens to be his brother’s ex – I know, sick world I live in!) and has two more children, everyone “moved on.” I have two thoughts about who sent the messages, and it doesn’t matter, because I am ignoring them. But, really? All this time later? And I know who P is, she showed us all who she is when she cheated, and didn’t care that she broke her best friend’s heart. Her only worry was that if he cheated with her, he could cheat on her – hahahaha! Aren’t they classics, these cheaters??? She has a bizarre sense of what is okay to do – a lack of moral fibre, character, whatever you would like to describe it as. Yes, I did see her from time to time, over a decade after her most public poor behaviour. I have my reasons, mostly that I saw no one, and it was good to escape my small town and go see a good movie with an intelligent woman who knew my feelings about her poor morals. Maybe I was wrong. But I am comfortable with it. No one here cared enough about me to keep me company. If we put her shit to one side, I got to escape for a few hours once or twice a year. There were no lies, and no one was getting hurt.
I mean, how old are we? For someone to leave me secret, anonymous messages, like some twelvie. Grow the fuck up.
The world has gone mad.