Tearing at the Fabric

Of the space-time continuum


15 Comments

GUYD!

Following on with more song lyrics (I totally LOVE the lyrics to the previous post – every word of that song speaks so personally to me – I have had this gigantic mountain to climb since 16 May 2009) I follow a similar vein, but in a different manner with this gem:

One of my recent favourites from a great little Kiwi band. I just love the lyrics to this, they speak to me. Our national character is somewhat self deprecating. We love a laugh, and if it is at ourselves, all the better! It’s not that we don’t believe in ourselves, or that life is great, but this is gold. (Not to mention the featuring of one of my faves, Bret McKenzie, of the Flight of the Conchords fame…)

GIVE UP YOUR DREAMS

We’ve been stuck together

In awkward situations

Sitting in the back of a van

Talking smack then taking back 

Then wonder if you can

Get up and walk out

On this catastrophic career

For a moment, woo-oo-woo-oo

You’ve been painting pictures

I’ve been writing jingles

Bloggin’, makin’ movies and worse

Conceptualising for a laugh

Then selling it’s a curse

Now we’re over, are we even part of the scene?

CHORUS

Give up your dreams

Can anyone help me, it’s starting to fall apart at the seams

Give up your dreams

Can anyone help us, someone must be pulling some strings

I’m a loser and I’m losing my belief

Pick a path but never follow it forever

Lest you get struck in a rut

Your liberal education won’t mean much

When you’re drowning in the muck

Go grab a pitchfork and stab it in the heart

Are you dreamin’? woo-oo-oo-oo

I’ve been giving up on all my aspirations

Thinkin’ ’bout getting a job

How does one transition to a mortal from a god?

Ain’t gonna make it

So let’s give up and move on

CHORUS

Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re special

Don’t let anyone tell you that all your dreams will come true

Don’t let anyone say that the world is your oyster

The world is not an oyster

The world is a cold, dark planet

Floating through infinite space

On a ceaseless journey to its own destruction

And all we can do about it is be alright about things

And get on with stuff

You’re not a loser

You’re a human

And I love you

I love you

CHORUS

 

 

And advice I have had to swallow. I have no choice. I cannot get the relationship I wanted. The one I had. The one I worked for. The one I sacrificed for. The one I felt I had. I have given up my dreams as far as this goes.

But in the case of the Phoenix Foundation, the rock star dream is a fabulous segue into something many of us have to come to terms with. In society today we are constantly told we can be anything, dream it, believe it, work hard and focus and it will be yours. Bollocks. We’ve been sold a lemon with the power of positive thought mantra. And I was kind of thrilled to see a good critique of this discourse in a popular print magazine while waiting for my son’s car to be safety inspected the other day. I can’t find a link to the article itself, but I do have the editorial discussing it here:¬†http://www.m2woman.co.nz/inside-m2woman-septemberoctober-2015/

I get quite frustrated by the whole, get over it, think yourself out of this funk bullshit. I have worked my arse off to recover from this betrayal, I have not got over it, nor healed, nor managed to achieve happiness by choosing happiness – and believe me, I have tried. SO HARD! So reading, hearing and being told this just makes me feel like I am somehow lacking. I am not lacking, I am a loving, caring, empathetic woman who gave everything I had to a man who didn’t appreciate it enough to protect my heart from hurt.


32 Comments

knocked the bastard off!

No, I haven’t beaten the mountain of infidelity. But I have finished my degree! Submitting final essay in the morning. This Everest has been climbed.

Solo. Without oxygen.

I got this far.

I wish it was the other mountain. But I know I am unable to climb that one. One needs to know one’s limits…

“Mountain At My Gates”

I see a mountain at my gates
I see it more and more each day
What I give, it takes away
Whether I go or when I stayI see a mountain at my gates
I see it more and more each day
I see a fire out by the lake
I’ll drive my car without the brakesI see a mountain in my way
It’s looming larger by the day
I see a darkness in my fate
I’ll drive my car without the brakes

Oh, gimme some time
Show me the foothold from which I can climb
Yeah, when I feel low
You show me a signpost for where I should go

I see a mountain at my gates
I see it more and more each day
And my desire wears a dark dress
But each day, I see you less

Oh, gimme some time
Show me the foothold from which I can climb
Yeah, when I feel low
You show me a signpost for where I should go

Through lanes and stone rows
Black granite, wind blows
Fire lake and far flame
Go now but come again
Dark clouds gather ’round
Will I run or stand my ground?

Oh, when I come to climb
Show me the mountain so far behind
Yeah, it’s farther away
Its shadow gets smaller day after day

Yeah, gimme my way
Gimme my love
Gimme my choice
You keep me coming around
Gimme my fate
Gimme my lungs
Gimme my voice
You keep me coming around
Gimme my lungs
Gimme my, gimme my, gimme my, gimme my
Gimme my, gimme my, gimme my, gimme my, gimme my way
Gimme my fate
Gimme my lungs
Gimme my choice
You keep me coming round