Tearing at the Fabric

Of the space-time continuum

Understanding

2 Comments

A colleague of my boss and mine, was tragically killed overseas yesterday.

I know his first wife, and that was how I was informed about his death so quickly. The second wife is also critically injured, and the three children – the eldest boy, my friend’s – were also hurt to varying degrees. My friend is flying out now.

This was a case of second wife was the other woman.

I know it is not nice, but he was a shit. Both personally and professionally. And my boss discussed with me how hard it will be for the first wife.

And told me about her mother’s dearest friend, whose first husband died a year or so ago. He cheated on her decades ago, and married his AP. She remarried eventually, but her mother says it is only since the first husband died – at 80 – that her friend is truly herself again. The peace and joy has returned.

Gulp.

I looked at my boss, and she looked at me (her fiance cheated on her years ago, she eventually left him before any nuptials, thankfully) and she said, without me EVER having said anything in the last year to her, “this is what it’s like to be cheated on, eh? This is what you feel, not that you want Rog dead, but that you learn how to live with the pain, right? It becomes a painful scar, eventually. But there is always deep pain, deep loss, deep grief. You just hide it better, huh?”

Holy fuck!

Not many get that. And I don’t talk to ANYONE anymore – my ‘healed’ facade is complete – except here, to three betrayed bloggers I have met online, and, VERY, VERY occasionally, to my two betrayed wife friends a bit IRL.

And then, only when they ask.

I looked at her, and nodded, tears welling.

She teared up too.

We moved on.

Fuck.

2 thoughts on “Understanding

  1. “You learn how to live with the pain, right? It becomes a painful scar, eventually. But there is always deep pain, deep loss, deep grief. You just hide it better, huh? That pretty much sums it up 😦

    • Yep, DLH. That is what Roger chose for me when he decided to fuck other women. That , and a permanent sense of not good enough.

      Sure, I’m strong. Sure, I will persevere. But it’s permanent pain, that has to be hidden and actively managed. The worst pain of my life. Thank you for understanding xxx

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