My rapist now holds a position high up in an industry I am strongly connected to.
Tonight, on the national TV news, he was named as not wanting to make a comment or appear on camera when industry participants need an answer re: Covid-19 decimation of this industry.
Roger knew who he was. He would have held me, helping me with the shock of hearing his name. All that shared history. All the things he knows about me.
Of course, BG doesn’t, and never will. I haven’t shared that I was brutally raped as a 20 year old virgin, requiring internal and external stitching to repair my body. Every detail of what he did to me flashed through my mind in a still shot slideshow
Watching the item, my blood ran ice cold at the mention of his name. And I broke out in a cold sweat. I moved away from BG, busying myself.
That fucking raping coward. He hasn’t changed one bit.
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Tearing at the Fabric 
Apr 25, 2020 at 12:50 am
I’m so sorry. I (kind of) know how that feels. š¦
Apr 25, 2020 at 12:57 am
I’m so sorry that you do, pp š
Apr 25, 2020 at 7:03 am
I have no idea how this feels for you, but I can imagine it is horrifying and makes you feel incredibly alone. I wish I was there to hold you! ā¤ļø
Apr 25, 2020 at 7:33 am
Yeah. I slept on the couch, as was struggling a lot. I wish we could hug, too. I need some lovin’! Not having someone who understands this horrific trigger is hell. He doesn’t know about it, I’m not landing that one at his feet. He thinks I moved because of his snoring and apologised profusely. I just said you can’t help it, not to worry. He did actually snore extra loudly last night š
He also talked this morning. A lot. He brought it up, about the problem he/we are having. He really is very genuine, and concerned this is a big problem for me. Says he’s working on it. I appreciate that, but did wonder what this ‘work’ entails. We were very honest. I said it will become a problem for me if we can’t sort it out. I am quite patient, but there will need to be some progress. And we do need to communicate.
Apr 25, 2020 at 9:00 am
Being back in your own bed next week with your baby will be helpful, I think. It doesn’t seem difficult, what he is “working on.” There must be something bigger going on in that head of his. Remind him that practice makes perfect. š
I hope he sorts it out. ā¤
Apr 25, 2020 at 9:03 am
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Apr 25, 2020 at 9:57 am
It must be horrifying when that happens š¤¢š¤Æ Huge hugs š·š
Apr 25, 2020 at 12:28 pm
Yeah. He pops up every now and then. I first saw him on TV about ten years ago, and froze solid. Rog wondered what the hell happened.
Apr 27, 2020 at 1:43 am
Im so sorry you feel so very alone in this.
Apr 27, 2020 at 2:50 am
Yeah, this is a big hole. Losing my person. The only one who knows all my secrets. It’s a thing you just have to cope with. Thanks, CR xxx
Apr 28, 2020 at 12:04 pm
Ohmygod. My heart is just pounding reading this. Iām so sorry. Iām so sorry. (((Hugs)))
Apr 28, 2020 at 12:44 pm
It was one of those moments where the ground goes from underneath you. This person comes into my periphery quite often, and it drops my stomach though my feet every time. Seeing his face. Hearing his name. It might only be every few years. But it’s still too often.
And never loses its shock factor. My heart squeezes and I nearly pass out every time. So crazy.