My blood boiled this morning reading Chump Lady.
I mean, holy hell!
One of the things that you have to learn after being chumped is, that you don’t have to take that crap from anyone anymore.
You don’t have to pretend to be friends with someone who has serious character flaws.
You don’t have to spackle over people who cheat, as “having made a mistake.”
In this case, the woman’s actions made her previously beloved husband so miserable that he felt his only out was to shoot himself.
If you disagree with her cheating – and you absolutely should – then you are not a “bad friend” for not forgiving her. You are a person with morals, integrity, character, and any loyalty you are being made to feel to her is seriously misguided.
I no longer tolerate people like this in my life.
I have unfriended cheaters. I don’t accept any excuses that, “oh, but other than that, she’s a lovely person.”
Lovely people don’t cheat.
Either on, or with partnered people.
It’s that simple.
I have culled people. And I’m good with that. I never had before. I thought you had to accept all the bad. Just ignore it, and play nice.
I worked so damn hard to survive the discard after a serial cheater made me feel unworthy of living. It was a special kind of hell. Trying to stay in the world, when it was too painful to do so.
Buggered if I am going to allow any cheater apologists wriggle room in my life.
I make very deliberate choices now. For my mental health. For my own survival.
The comments got me. Those asking not to talk about suicide.
Fuck that shit.
We need to talk about it. Infidelity, gaslighting, lying, they make loyal partners fucking crazy. Miserable.
Some of us want to die.
Sadly, some of us do.
It needs to be talked about. It isn’t a mistake.
It is abuse.
Unbearable abuse that sucks all of the joy in the world from our beings.