It’s the ultimate mindfuck. You literally think you might be going insane.
To have someone who loves you very deeply convinced of how fabulous you are, when you’re really a shitty person.
And if my attention was elsewhere, he’d do something hurtful. Break something. Find a new woman to fuck. That kind of thing….
I’m fairly convinced he wasn’t even aware he did this. During our counselling, I started to realise how his behaviours were never examined by him. He never thought, “why did I do that,” about anything. Just quite selfish. I did it because it felt good.