Paz de la Huerta

‘The way in which he overpowered me left me no way out’ (BBC)

“I was intimidated by him and his power.”

“He said, ‘Can we have a drink upstairs at yours?’ And I was too afraid to say no. We went up to my place and things got very uncomfortable very fast. He pulled my dress up I was just terrified, I didn’t kick or scream. When you read about rape you read ‘The girl screams no and kicks and screams’ but that’s not exactly right. The way in which he overpowered me left me no way out.

“It’s almost like I was hovering over my body and this thing was happening to me. I didn’t go to the police because I was terrified he would destroy me and he would say it was consensual, and that I was a whore and I was lying.”

I can’t tell you how many times I have run over the details of that night.

Did I drink too much?

Did I make him think I wanted to be sexual with him?

Did I do the wrong thing not pressing charges after I was swabbed and stitched back together again?

The answers are irrelevant. Because rape is rape. There is no excuse for it. No one asks to be raped.

The reality is, I was a “good girl,” who was still a virgin at 20. I was waiting for my “one true love!”

Or something like that.


That worked out well on a whole heap of fronts, right?


The nightmares were bad last night. I’m up a hill, in the bush, trying to sweat the pain out.

After morning bingeing on Workin Moms.

Kate, in pre-natal class, on labour, “one of these guys is gonna cheat, it’s just math, my money’s on this guy…”


Wish it was that easy to pick which one. I thought I had picked one of the good guys.

How true is the above? 💔