Tearing at the Fabric

Of the space-time continuum



So, I popped my head up above the parapet today. I attended the funeral of an old school friend’s mother, making him an orphan, as his dad died in 1989. It was one of those brilliant life celebrations. She wanted happy faces, lovely woman. And as someone very involved in Pink Hope, she had a hot pink casket, and we released pink balloons as the hearse drove her off. I don’t do pink, so was scratching around thinking what the heck am I going to wear, when I found a hot pink lipstick.

But, I digress, that’s unusual!

This guy is single. He was messaging me on Facebook a bit, and I thought it all “old school friends” stuff. Then he invited me to meet him in his city – in a different country! I laughed and showed TOIL, and he read the messages, then told me that old friend was trying to hook up with me. This guy is an old friend of TOIL’s also. I was a bit horrified, as he was a good friend, but not attractive at all! And we have announced no separation. What is up with people?

I was cornered at the funeral by J. She asked that I go out to her house afterwards, and I felt it would be terribly rude not to. When I got out there, she had two other couple friends, yes, drinking wine ๐Ÿ˜‰ . She had a little birthday gift for me, which was cute. Then one of the couples left. And the other woman, A (who is actually a really nice woman) and J told me that the wife, L that had just left had just been caught cheating. I wasn’t surprised, this girl is an entitled person. The funny thing is, I never really warmed to this girl. She is stuck up. But J thought she was great. J used to tell her husband how she was in awe of the love, blah, blah, blah (these two were great ones for PDAs and baby talk in public, ewwww!) The husband is a bit of a lad, but has been an incredibly attentive father and husband. And I felt sick for him. I said, “does he know?” The answer was yes. So I asked if they knew if he was okay. J answered, somewhat sarcastically that “apparently they are fine, and in love, and carrying on building their new mansion.” This poor chump has financed her into so much, Euro cars, high end designer clothes, European and American holidays in the past year, a tropical island one every winter. She got sick of their previous home, and insisted they build a new one, and so far the prep work has been done, and the contractors engaged at the new site. Word is it will be pretty swanky, L has to have the latest and greatest. And yet she thinks she can screw around on the bank.

Just disgusted with humanity. Or certain parts of it.

Hey, it’s not like I thought cheating didn’t happen before it did to me. But now every time I poke my nose out of the cave, BAM!! Another one bites the dust. I literally have not been anywhere social in the last two years and NOT heard about someone screwing around on their spouse or partner. I mean, what the fuck is wrong with people?

Think I will just stay low in my cave, the real world sucks.


11 thoughts on “Duck!

  1. its dark out there man!!!! sometimes i honestly think, cheating is just people who cant deal with the fact that sometimes life is BORING!!! maybe being a stay at home mum forced me to accept that sooner, or at all… i think that maybe its because i just didnt have the opportunity… but thats not true… i decided, and i stuck with it… but he didnt. and now im shitty because of it. because i tried to be a good girl. for ALL my boys. awesome.

    i have sometimes thought, that because of our little bitty country… if it were happening we would hear more about it… ok, i dont have a huuuge social circle, but i do have a huuuge, and rather gossippy extended family… where this stuff has happened, but i paid it no mind at all… not only do people not really talk about it (and we know why now) but others, like me, dont really pay attention to it, if theyve never seen it happen…

    he knew it, because he had seen it in his immediate family… with his parents… i never had… not with my parents, or anyone,.. i knew it wasnt something i was into doing… i knew it wasnt something i wanted… he would come home talking about so and so at work or whatever doing this and that… and i was just like… how does this affect our life? little did i know… little did i know… i dont like being this worldly… i want to go back to my innocent little bubble.

    • We all knew there were stinking players and slutty whores out there right? No one was surprised to hear the TV bimbo was consciously uncoupling from husband #2 or that the investment banker was trading in wife #3. Those people are ick and you can spot ’em a mile off. What I never counted on was the creeping infidelity, the decent guy who stops being a decent guy bit by bit over time and gets sucked into thinking he can have his cake and eat it too. Or the woman who designs to replace her man and works at it quietly for a year, bit by bit poisoning the water. Those I didn’t expect to meet. And yes, I would like to go back in my bubble of innocence.

      • yeah, but theyre OUT THERE! lol! not here! we dont live thinking that it will happen to us! why should we? if were trying to be good?
        is the decent guy really a decent guy or is he just an insecure little boy pretending to be nice so you will like him? when reaaaaaaaallly…

        i was raised to be who i say i am and i really really try to. i wasnt raised to understand, that some people dont. i only knew that if i felt MYSELF going sideways, then thats who i was meant to look at. ME.

        all you can do is stick to what you value and what you believe, and what other people do, whether you think theyre attached to you or not… if theyve got some crap in their history…. its going to come out, no matter who youre trying to be in your own life.

        yep. blaming his parents. lol. again.

      • Oh I hear you. I think Paul really was a good guy, but just not as good as he thought he was. He thought his lights were infallible. Then he met the Sociopath. And he didn’t have the innate values and loyalty to see through her. And yes it’s on his parents. They don’t either. Then again parents can affect you in funny ways: I had a serial cheater for a father and I am fiercely loyal, would defend my mother or my kids to the death, that’s his legacy. Argyrodes also had a serial cheater for a father. She competed with his women for his attention and she still sees manipulation as normal. She became a serial cheat and though she mostly lived with her mother she bad mouthed her constantly. Different effect, same source. Paul’s biggest flaw was not that he wasn’t perfect, but that he thought he was. He was decent, but not loyal enough. It wasn’t a value that his parents thought important (and they still don’t).

      • yep, i think if your parents were a good example, you would tend to follow it… if they messed up tho… it could go either way… and i think it depends on how they clean up their mess… for the kids… if the kids are told, yo, this was !#!)#&!)@(&# it was wrong, i regret it, it was horrible and im so so sorry i did this to your life, i dont want to be that person ill never do it again, it was a mistake, worst thing i ever did etc etc etc…. the kid is more likely to turn out ok? if nothing is ever said, and the kid is left to figure it out for themselves tho… well… thats more likely to become more of a mess? i mean, if you can admit your mistake, then others, your children can learn from it… if you shove it all in a box and pretend that the kids didnt see nothing… well.. if you dont help them figure it out in their heads first… theyre more likely to go act it out in order to do so… ?

        or something like that…

      • Well Paul’s parents are happily married with apparently no cheating. Though there’s a very suspect period pre-marriage when his mother chased all manner of men some of whom sound likely to have been attached. It’s not as simple as telling of the actual infidelity, also the values that come across more subtly.

      • an anomaly!
        lol. its just people really… people do good, people do bad… its like im looking back, for some sort of minority report… but all i care about today, is that i dont send people, that im responsible for raising, out into the world, to hurt people, (and by extension, themselves) by having been hurt by me… and because of, well, lacking values. they both know, at this point, that lying sucks. i know they dont know who they are or what they believe in yet, but i do hope i can put them on the right track. despite whats happened. with my oldest… although i know him as incapable of telling a lie and a rather straightforward young man… im going to have to pick at him and make him a bit uncomfortable… just to make sure lol. hes not going to like that lol.

    • Yeah bamboozled, pity that bubble burst, huh?

      I have ALWAYS been aware of it, we were the last ones standing who had got together in the 80s. No, actually, there is one other couple still intact. My parents did have it happen, albeit a little differently, as Dad discovered he was gay, it was discussed and everyone was very open and honest, no problem. Roger’s sister cheated with a married man, married him, had two kids, then kicked him out when the youngest was not quite one year old – for cheating. Our best mates had it happen at the seven year mark, she cheated, with two different men in those seven years, two kids, and took off with cheater man number two, who was also married, to her business partner, with two more kids involved. Twelve years later, he cheated on her, and moved onto the next one. It seemed to go in bursts, “oh, such-and-such has been busted fucking around,” and the domino effect of small towns, more and more would topple. We – Roger and I – talked about all of this “boredom” and entitlement, and promised each other to never be so selfish. We did pay it a whole heap of mind, and I thought we built protective walls around our love. Bugger!

  2. Those type of people are carrion — they wait for something that appeals to them and pounce!

    Hugs, friend — I hope the wine was at least nice! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Thanks tempted. Agreed. Total carrion. The thing is, none of it is new, or particularly imaginative or inventive. Boring people with boring “hobbies!” It has always affected me, but obviously it is even more personal now. I feel …… I don’t know ….. justified? Vindicated? About my decision to lay low.

      And yes, of course the wine was nice, these people don’t DO crap wine, just crap people! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  3. I am losing hope in man…AND woman-kind!! Ugh!! So many families ruined…so many people hurting!
    Make room in that cave, Paula….I’m gonna join you!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.