Tearing at the Fabric

Of the space-time continuum

A Deal with God

2 Comments

I’ll get on that bandwagon. Kate Bush’s Running Up that Hill’s resurgence after the makers of Stranger Things used it, has been phenomenal.

And I am always intrigued by songwriters’ explanations of their lyrics.

I get it, Kate. I get it.

How amazing would it be to swap lives with another person?

I mean, it’s one thing to empathise, but to actually live as that person?

As your partner.

Seeing things from their perspective? I would love that. Love to experience exactly how Roger justified his actions, and his eventual devaluation and discard of me.

His walking away, never looking back.

At someone who adored him. How is that woman who loved me, who bore my children and supported me now that I kicked her to the curb?

Meh. Who cares? She is nothing.

When he was my everything. Ugh.

Kate herself, explains,

“It’s about a relationship between a man and a woman. They love each other very much, and the power of the relationship is something that gets in the way. It creates insecurities.

“It’s saying if the man could be the woman and the woman the man, if they could make a deal with God, to change places, that they’d understand what it’s like to be the other person and perhaps it would clear up misunderstandings. You know, all the little problems; there would be no problem.”

If I had known what he was thinking. I wouldn’t have been so blindsided. I would have been able to talk with him. To explain. To reason.

And if he could have truly got inside my head – if he had any heart – he would have seen both how completely devastated I was, but also, how my healing was progressing.

And most importantly, that I still actually really, truly loved him.

2 thoughts on “A Deal with God

  1. Oh, I don’t think anyone can reason a cheater out of cheating. Logic fails them. I suspect that you could have talked to Rog till you were blue in the face and he would have still cheated. You didn’t fail to do something and thus he cheated. He was/is broken in a way that you couldn’t hope to fix.

    • Oh, I know, BA. I guess I didn’t articulate that part properly. I meant that by the “throw away’ comment about “if he had any heart at all.”

      Really just articulating a thought I had when reading Bush’s explanation of the lyrics. A fantasy.

      He is the most stubborn man I have ever met. I knew that when we were together. There was never really any way of changing his mind about anything once he set on a course of action, or opinion. And I know he is incapable of empathising with me and how he made me feel. How he changed my worldview x

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